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Capello Index
The Capello Index
Lee Bennett
I began this as a lengthy rant at why England were so poor in South Africa but midway through (about 50 paragraphs in I reckon) those photos taken by Ledley King emerged and I just thought "what is the point really?" The players obviously don't care so why do I?
You've seen the photos - Aaron Lennon lounging around with a fat Cuban hanging out of his grinning overpaid mouth. Bottles of Bollinger littering the table they are all loafing around, looking like they haven't a care in the world. I'm sure Ledley would have needed somebody to take the snaps for him due to a torn ligament in his trigger finger.
Before the World Cup began I cited the four main reasons why England would do well...
• Fabio Capello - the best manager in the world would paper over any cracks caused by crocks and duffers.
• Wayne Rooney - England's talisman, in the form of his life after a free scoring season for Manchester United in which he was unplayable at times.
• The climate - winter in South Africa should suit English players perfectly.
• The draw - topping an easy group would ensure a relatively trouble free run to the semis.
We can't blame the climate or the draw which actually opened up following France's own implosion but Capello blew it and Rooney was anonymous. Predictably and depressingly all the elements we feared might derail England's campaign came horribly to fruition. Robert Green, Jamie Carragher, Matthew Upson, Ledley King, Gareth Barry and Emile Heskey all did exactly what it says on the tin. They fully lived up to expectation and reputation by fumbling, lumbering, blundering, injuring, trundling or fluffing any chance they got.
But look at it this way - for the moment England are 8th in FIFA's rankings. That makes us a beaten quarter-finalist providing we don't play a country ranked above us. Germany are 6th so that actually relegates us to a beaten Last 16 team, which is precisely where we finished. The conclusion is that nobody should be surprised about our showing and it is time to face up to what every other nations already knows - that we are simply not good enough and haven't been for a long time. Unless many things drastically change (and they won't because money is everything nowadays) England will not win a major trophy in my lifetime.
So rather go on and on analysing every aspect of England's dismal capitulation, let's take a lead from the red tops and Don Fabio himself with our own Capello Index.
Fabio CAPELLO (3 out of 10) - and I'm being generous giving 3 through some sympathy. Sympathy that most of his players under-performed; Capello cannot take all the blame for that. What he can be blamed for is his decision making and he got little right in my opinion. The Capello Index provided the first chink to his armour and the rust developed over the ensuing weeks as every risk he took went horribly wrong.
He started taking gambles - gambling on the fitness of King and Barry and gambling that Robert Green's fingers weren't dipped in butter among the worst of them. You can probably count on one finger the number of gambles he made in a near faultless qualifying campaign so why start at the World Cup?
When he needed to gamble (ditching 442, throwing Crouch on earlier against Algeria, taking Rooney off, replacing Barry with Joe Cole at 2-0 down against Germany) he refused to. When chasing the game against Germany he threw Heskey on to get a goal. I rest my case.
Having stated that he would only take players that are a) playing regularly for their club b) playing well and c) 100% fit, he went against that ethos with many of his selections. He took, and played, players who weren't getting into their club side never mind being in form, and players carrying injuries.
1 David JAMES (7) - Calamity James did nothing wrong after replacing butter fingers Green and should have been first choice if Hart was deemed to inexperienced.
12 Robert GREEN (3) - The one thing that we all feared occurred just 40 minutes into England's campaign. Green butter fingered a tame shot and England blew a vital lead. It's a mistake that can be pinpointed as a direct reason for England failing. It was a tipping point, even though it was so early on. 4/10
23 Joe HART (-) - England's best keeper last season but he never got near the first team even after showing well in training.
2 Glen JOHNSON (5) - Third best England player in the Castrol Index apparently. He was shaky in defence and attack and me thinks those oil boys need to brush up on their soccer.
3 Ashley COLE (7) - Generally solid and one of England's better performers but his attacking was poor at times.
5 Michael DAWSON (-) - In great club form but overlooked.
6 John TERRY (6) - A topsy turvy tournament saw trouser snake Terry get left in the lurch after his down to earth press conference, bounce back with the Slovenia win, and end in farce against Germany.
13 Stephen WARNOCK (-) - Unused understudy to Cashley Cole.
15 Matt UPSON (4) - Nice guy as he is, Upson was taken off the back of an awful season for West Ham and is in the bottom percentile of English defenders in terms of ability. He looked dodgy against Slovenia but kept his place because of one injury time tackle that probably kept England in the tournament. He then promptly helped dump us out, being hopelessly exposed by Germany and being complicit in all four goals conceded - either directly or by being nowhere to be seen. If Upson is an England international then so is my cat.
18 Jamie CARRAGHER (5) - Too slow, too clumsy, and he made his bed to lie in long ago. I cannot believe he was talked out of retirement and got to play. He is a liability - one and a half games played netted him two yellow cards and a suspension. Any fool could have predicted that.
20 Ledley KING (2) - He played in less than half of Spurs' games last season and lasted 45 minutes of the tournament. His "chronic" knee problems are legendary. There was no way on earth he was going to get through a World Cup without problems. It was a gamble of the highest degree and it back-fired big time as it let in Carragher and Upson.
4 Steven GERRARD (8) - Probably England's best player against almost zero competition but playing from the left is a waste of his talents and his time has now gone.
7 Aaron LENNON (3) - Can't shoot, can't pass, can't cross, can't score. Doesn't seem to care.
8 Frank LAMPARD (6) - Played one decent game in four and was unlucky against Germany. The Lampard-Gerrard conundrum continues to baffle. Capello has to work it out or ditch one or both.
11 Joe COLE (5) - Took two games before he could pluck the bench splinters from his arse but did little when given his chance, although 44 minutes over two games is not enough for England's most creative midfielder.
14 Gareth BARRY (5) - Taken on crutches and looked like he was still using them as Mesut Ozil skinned him after giving him a 10 yard start. He made Ozil look like Usain Bolt and never looked fit enough for a World Cup campaign. At 2-0 down against the Germans Barry was surplus to requirements and should have been sacrificed for Joe Cole.
16 James MILNER (5) - I just don't see it with this jack of all trades, master of none. Starting with Milner and subbing him after half an hour of the first game set the tone. The excuse being Milner had been ill leading up to the match and was feeling the effects - what was he doing on the pitch in the first place then?
17 Shaun WRIGHT-PHILLIPS (3) - England's bobbling bumbling "winger" goes backwards with every game. Only there because of Walcott's even greater ineptitude. In his defence, his first chance came on the left when he replaced Milner against USA. The left! He's got ‘right' in his name but he can't even control or cross a ball from the right, never mind the left.
22 Michael CARRICK (-) - Pointless passenger, dropped by Alex Ferguson following a disastrous late season dip in form. Didn't play a minute and kept Scott Parker at home.
9 Peter CROUCH (4) - Great England scoring record ignored for Heskey's abysmal one. Played 17 minutes over two games and spent most of the time getting arse splinters on the bench. Heskey got 176 minutes over four games. Crouch has 21 goals in 40 internationals, Heskey has 7 in 62. Who would you throw on when striving for a goal to keep you in the World Cup?
10 Wayne ROONEY (1) - The most spectacular failure of a star name I can remember. Sticking with Rooney when he was so obviously struggling was a waste of a position - Rooney is not untouchable and nobody would have argued with him coming off. No goals and just 6 shots on target in 4 matches. There had to be something wrong with England's "talisman". The injury suffered in the Champions League must have been hampering him - he just didn't look interested at times and even had the gall to complain when booed off.
19 Jermain DEFOE (6) - One important goal but little else. Had scored 3 times in 3 months for Spurs and doesn't work well with Rooney.
21 Emile HESKEY (2) - Played out of position...by about 6000 miles. His main contribution to the cause was to fall on Rio Ferdinand's knee, putting the captain out and lifting accident-waiting-to-happen Upson up the pecking order. He also fluffed any scoring opportunity that came his way and kept Peter Crouch off the pitch. Heskey "does a job" for the team but it's not enough. As a top class frontline striker you have to offer more than the ability to hold the ball up, especially in a major tournament. An eye for goal also helps but Heskey's peepers appear to be made of glass. 3 goals in 15 starts for Villa last season and he will never score for England again.
Team Average = 4.5/10
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