The Soccerphile World Cup 2002 Archives Click here to go to the current Soccerphile.com
In a surprise spin-off from Japan and the Republic of Korea’s joint
hosting of the 2002 World Cup, the two countries have begun talks on unification.
Citing the new spirit of co-operation that has, of necessity, characterized the World Cup, foreign ministers from both countries are said to be laying
the ground for a unification summit.
Relations between the two countries have traditionally been thorny and
Korea was annexed and colonized by Japan from 1910-1945. However, the
two countries’ concerted efforts to stage a successful World Cup
have forged links that seem to be overcoming the past. The proximity between the countries – just over an hour by airplane - their similar socio-political
structure, as well as the success of the EU, adds to the likelihood of
unification becoming a reality.
Such is the delicacy of the issue that both foreign ministers have refused to make public announcements or respond to questions; however sources
close to the Japanese side say that the strength of political will being
shown regarding the issue makes a summit almost certain.
North Korea has until now been the prime candidate for unification talks
with South Korea. That country has yet to officially comment on the prospect,
but is expected to express vehement disapproval.
In the meantime, as one of a number of preliminary steps, the Japanese
imperial family is to open its archives and make available sensitive documents
long rumored to reveal its Korean roots. A backlash from Japan’s
right wing is inevitable, but riot squadrons of police especially trained
for World Cup crowd control will be mobilized against extremists as necessary.
In a related development, Professor Manabu Keshigomu of the Usotsuki
Foundation, a somewhat controversial, Osaka-based ‘think-tank’,
has suggested that suspected hooligans may be detained at immigration
and surgically ‘tagged’ with a monitoring-device. He explains
that the NB142002 is a state-of-the-art PSU (Personal Surveillance Unit)
‘the size of a small eraser’ that can be implanted in the suspect’s
neck, under local anaesthetic, in a matter of minutes. The recipient’s
movements can then be monitored utilising governmental and law-enforcement
satellite-technology.
"Thus we can watch from the sky and ‘rub out’ fears of
trouble," quips the 70 year-old lawmaker-turned-scientist.
Whilst some citizens’ rights groups have opposed the plan, unnamed
sources suggest that Keshigomu’s high-level connections may win the
day. Your ‘immigration stamp’ may be more than just a smudge
of blue ink.
Liverpool and England striker Michael Owen is sensationally in line to
become the first footballer to benefit from recent scientific advances
by having his injury plagued hamstrings replaced after this summer’s World Cup. If this historic operation is successful the 22 year-old ace
will be out of action for over four months, a setback that a spokesperson
from the Advanced Remedial Science Experts Society (ARSE), Bunsen Burner,
says may benefit him in the future. "It doesn't stretch the imagination
too much that a footballer plagued by a common injury would seek such
action. It's not exactly brain surgery."
Owen has always joked about getting replacement hamstrings and may get
his wish although Burner expressed caution at the selection criteria required
for the donor. "Donors we usually use are older humans or pigs. These
may not be suitable for someone with Michael's demands. It is more beneficial
that we find the most flexible tissue possible." "The fastest
animal in the world is the cheetah and at 5 ft 8
inches, Michael is the perfect size to make use of such tissue."
Liverpool are said to be backing Owen all the way with his hamstring replacement
as they believe that the surgeons can pull it off. A spokesperson said:
"It is a big career decision for Michael and we will support him
all the way, he is the one pulling the strings."
Despite FIFA attempts at soccer diplomacy proving successful in getting Koreas North and South talking again, there's trouble afoot in Japanese Soccer. Okinawa, Japan's southernmost prefecture, is plotting a breakaway. The sub-tropical islands, formerly the Ryukyu Kingdom, conquered by Japan, occupied by American forces after W.W.II and then returned to Japanese control in 1972, aren't represented in the J.League. Any team successful in gaining promotion would face horrendous journeys for away fixtures, Taiwan being closer then Tokyo.
Local politicians and business and community leaders are pushing for the formation of the O.League in spring 2003.
Talks are also said to be underway with officials from Hokkaido,
Japan's northern-most and snowiest soccer outpost, where an H.League had
been planned, then discarded, as 'H' is slang for sex in Japanese. It's
thought that the sexy teams from H-land could play all their away games
in Okinawa in the northern winter and O.League teams escape to the relative
cool of the northern summer. Talks are said to be stalled over choosing
either the name OH.League or HO.League. Officials are asking for suggestions to be emailed to leagues@underthesea.com
Ex-England striker and TV presenter, Gary Lineker is set to join Nagoya Grampus 8 after the World Cup as their new director of football. Lineker, 42, played for Grampus for two seasons in the early 1990s. ‘I don’t want to sit behind a desk in Britain any more’, Lineker said, ‘I want to sit behind a desk in Japan.’
Blissfully ignorant of the reaction saying his name may induce among English speakers, is Seoul resident and marketing manager of Korea's "Red Devils" soccer fan club - You Suk-bum. You is as-yet unaware how he may face ridicule, mocking and laughter during the World Cup, co-hosted by Korea and Japan from May 31 to June 30. The opportunity for deriding You's name and his ignorance of its implication will not be limited to those who meet You during the international event, however, as his name is prominently displayed on thousands of promotional posters throughout Seoul, Korea's capital. Additionally, worldwide exposure includes scheduled television interviews for the Red Devil's marketing manager with CNN, Star Sports and the BBC, with an expected worldwide audience of nearly half a billion viewers during the World Cup.
In an effort to counter international accusations of savagery, Korea is launch a PR blitz to educate football fans about eating dog-meat. At all games held in Korea, free dog-meat will be readily available in the stadiums to anyone interested in trying this (usually very expensive) Korean delicacy. To the dismay of Koreans, only those with foreign passports will be eligible for this offer, otherwise demand could far outstrip supply.
In one of the unlikeliest musical pairings of recent times, celebrity terrorist and ex-Japanese Red Army member Shigenobu Fusako has teamed
up with football-crazy British band Blur to record a single timed to coincide with World Cup 2002. Only available in Japan, the controversial, reggae-influenced
"Nippon Sakka Rockers!!" (Toshiba-EMI) will certainly help raise
Blur's profile in the Land of the Rising Sun as they mark their comeback
after a two-year hiatus. A spokesman said, "Shigenobu's a big fan
of Blur who she first heard on the BBC World Service while living in
Lebanon."
Taxi driver Taro Tanaka, 55, was jailed Thursday after inadvertently giving frank opinions of Japan's World Cup hopes to two passengers--who happened to be Kyoto policemen. "All I said was that we probably wouldn't win the whole thing," Tanaka complained. "I didn't say that we were bad or anything." Kyoto police chief Jiro Nakatani commented, "Who knows how long this guy has been saying such things? What if a foreigner heard what he's saying? Without complete public support, we can't compete. There's no room in our society for this kind of irresponsible grumbling." Tanaka was sentenced to three months in jail.
Roy Keane, Ireland's influential captain and Ian Harte will miss out on this year's finals due a violent incident that occurred after Saturday's Premiership match between Manchester United and Leeds United. The pair were involved in an altercation with Keane's teammate and Dutch forward, Ruud Van Nistelrooy, in the player’ car park. According to witnesses at the scene, Van Nistelrooy jumped into his car and preceded to run the two Irish players over. Police have arrested the former PSV Eindhoven striker on attempted murder charges while both Keane and Harte suffered broken legs and other serious injuries. Manchester United’s manager Alex Ferguson has so far refused to comment.
FIFA chief Sepp Blatter’s hold on his position is looking increasingly shaky, with fresh allegations of corruption about to break. A disgruntled former employee, Mr. Marc DeVilliers, is currently in negotiations with a leading European newspaper for exclusive rights to his story. DeVilliers is understood to have arranged a meeting between Blatter and a prominent Australian media tycoon shortly before Blatter’s announcement that the winners of the Oceania group should gain automatic entry to the 2006 World Cup.
The recent March 27 England - Italy result at Elland Road in Leeds, England, which the Italians ostensibly 'won' by two goals to nil, has been declared null and void by FIFA. A spokesman for the game's governing body explained that under the new directive banning 'simulation' [diving], the Italians' penalty kick converted by Montella, would not stand. The new result for the match is now 1-1. This is the first time the new directive has affected the result of a match.
David Beckham is apparently wanted by Peter Hook and Keith Allen in order to rap on a remix of New Order's 1990 World Cup anthem.
The Soccerphile World Cup 2002 Archives
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